Cheaters Never Prosper

"I'm married," Jon said matter-of-factly. Zoe had opened the door to her second floor North Hollywood apartment to see Jon sweaty from the run upstairs. He was holding a DVD copy of "The Way We Were," a bottle of wine, and their senior year high school yearbook. He looked nervous and even though she felt cruel, seeing that gave her pleasure.

The door never opened unless she recognized the face through her peephole. Seeing Jon standing there was overwhelming and made her numb. She never thought she'd see him again and didn't know if it mattered anyway.

She stood there, feeling a surge of power and not sure what to do. She gave up on him weeks ago. Zoe knew he was married, but now she had the proof. Truth needs validation from at least two people, not just one. With just one, you go insane with your own thoughts, like the Unabomber.

She could slam the door in his face, but she didn't. She stared at him for what seemed like forever, studying his twitching eyebrow. He twitched like that in Algebra before their AP test. The afternoon sun, which Zoe now realized shined the same color in Moreno Valley and Hollywood, brightened his blue jeans giving them an innocent sky blue appearance. She had deja vu and remembered her ripped jeans on that day on the patio. She put a finger to her lips and smiled.

Fuck it, she thought, and invited him in. He smiled timidly, handing her the gifts.

Zoe had the 90s station on her XM satellite radio playing. REM's "Shiny Happy People" had just begun. The room was pungent since she had burned a designer scented candle, something from DOLCE & GABBANA, part of a gift from the suits at New Line Cinema. The scent reminded her of the stuck up bitches she waited on at the cafe, so she blew it out. Before the knock at the door, she was headed for the bathroom for some Lysol.

Jon inhaled. "Oh, my wife has this perfume!" Embarrassed, he looked down. It was an awkward blurt, sort of like asking a woman when her baby's due, but turns out she's just fat. Zoe let it slide.

"How did you know where I lived?" she asked. It was an honest question. Jon had never made the trip out to visit her.

"Well," Jon said, nervously running his palms on his jeans. "That's a funny story." He sat down on the futon and looked up at her. "You know how you always talked to me about going to the LA Zoo after you got off work at the restaurant?" She shook her head yes, shocked that he remembered.

"Yeah, and well, you know how you said you liked the chimpanzees because they look so much like people?" Again, Zoe shook her head, confused.

"Well, I went there... to the Zoo, and the Chimpanzees. I thought maybe I might see you since you worked early on Wednesday mornings and got off at one..." He sat up and stuck his hands in his pockets and twitched.

"Ok," Zoe said, "but I wasn't there and I didn't work today, so..."

Jon cut her off. "Yeah, I found that out. So I asked around the gift shop and the churro stand. I described you to the teenagers. I mentioned your play and bumped into the actor who played the bodyguard in that kidnap scene of 'Run Far Away.' I gave him $50 to take me to your apartment."

"WHAT?!" Zoe was stunned. Her jaw hung open. The actor he was referring to was a 19-year old with corn-fed face and build. He played a Kansas farmboy that was sucked into a cult. She cast him because he really was from Kansas and could play brainwashed. Feeling sorry for him, she took him to her apartment a few times. She gave him a lamp, some canned goods, old bedding from Wal-mart; he was sleeping the floor in some crack house. Jon could have been some crazy stalker out to kill her, but for $50, farmboy was sold.

"Oh my God!" She actually didn't care that Jon was there. She just needed to act like she did. She made her way to the kitchen for some water. Her mouth felt dry and she wasn't sure how this would end.

"I'm sorry, Zo, but I wanted to see you. I missed you and I should have told you the truth."

Zoe turned on the facet, filling a plastic cup decorated with yellow ducks with warm tap water. She drank and tried not to cry. She didn't regret letting Jon in. Not yet, but she was unexpectedly feeling the pain all over again: the treadmill, the whiskey, the tears, that mixed emotion of joy and disappointment Jon had brought into her life. Was this what love was? If so, it sucked. She walked towards him in the living room and turned off the stereo, then sat next to him on the futon. She wanted to run away.

"It's ok," she said, looking at her hands, not him. "I mean, we only had sex that once, so it's not like we had anything more than a one night stand. The sex was good, right?"

Jon nodded and put his hand on her head. He seemed eager to touch her, but she couldn't read him without looking at his eyes. A tear fell from her eye and Zoe moved his hand away. Still looking down, she said, "I have a lot of writing to do today, so I'm going to have to kick you out now."

He paused for a moment, stunned that the two hour drive and hour at the zoo, were ending after only ten minutes with her. When he stood up, Zoe wiped her eyes and looked at him. She read him that time. He did want to touch her.

"Thanks for being honest with me though," she said.

Jon leaned in to kiss her. It was seduction. Zo knew if she showed any affection they'd be in bed together. Now that he was honest, she wanted him 100 times more. That wall was completely down. Plus her roommate was gone and they could be as noisy as they wanted. Frustrated, she gave him her cheek and swore under her breath.

She sighed, picked up the yearbook and that smelly candle, and handed it to him. Then mustering her guts, she led him to the door. She leaned in and closed her eyes as she savored the feel of her lips on his cheek. She wanted more and had missed him so much. Jon was only human, right? We all make mistakes. She began making excuses, realizing how his hands calmed her when she felt so lost.

No, she couldn't. She'd have to start from scratch if she did. "I'm sorry," she said, looking at him. This sucked.

"Me too," said Jon, sounding sincere. His eyes looked misty. "I should have come here years ago." Zoe nodded and closed the door. She cried for a bit. She was always emotional. Eventually, one of the waitresses called to congratulate her on selling her play to New Line. She said thank you to her friend and felt relief after kicking Jon out. It was as if she just had sex. Who knew refusing a married man could feel like that? This was a new sensation and Zo liked it a lot.

Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head at? (featuring monkeys)