Anxiety

Starting a new job that requires training
and aptitude tests. I've had three this month
and they're draining.

I'm 30. Not 21, 25, or my beloved 29, so stress
is of the non-emotional, financial sort. Instead of
birds, I wake up to the ring of Student Loan Gods.

Thoughts of debt plagued me at this orientation
for substitute teachers. They assigned me number
15, which is half what I owe in thousands.

I heard 15 called 3 times and each time I did,
I tried to steady my nerves and not feel like
a desire to run. Leave me alone, please.

I gave them answers. Faking it. And not once did
my reply make me feel any better about
being a grown up.

They rewarded me with two candy bars. Since
I'm on the Can't Eat Junk Food Cuz I'm 30-diet,
this was an insult.

I'd give the diet up, but I'm skinny. The same with
being gainfully employed. Cuz who needs anxiety?
Just sign me up for hoboville.

One day I'll have a husband, a home and a bouncing
baby deduction. But for now, I "enjoy" single life and
resist the urge to go postal.