Pack of Lies

"So you can wipe off that grin because
we know where you've been,"
my auditor told me.
I couldn't pick up his E-meter.*
It's all been a pack of lies!
This was the end of the Truman Show.
I was no longer a female homo novus.*

I'd spent two years near FLAG* in
Clearwater, Florida
taking courses to clear engrams.*
My funds ran out that week and they
began monitoring my every move,
like visiting anti-church websites,
such as Operation Clambake.
I had sinned.

"We have reason to believe you are PTS,"*
he said, his spy notes on the table.
He looked disappointed, but relentless.
Our chat session had became an interrogation
of my convert hostility towards the church.
I hadn't slept in days.

He handed me a contract for the Sea Org,*
asking me to sign away.
Life was nothing without The Tech,* he said.
I stared at him, the pen in my hand,
becoming an exterior thetan.*
They call it facing without flinching:
lesson one in Scientology.

L. Ron gave me truth packaged in those
abbreviations and ethics.
I was thankful, but confused.
It was time, money, acceptance.
They wanted my freedom now.
I began to think I should have
saved some receipts.

I was an OT* and had been cleared
from the pain in my reactive mind.
Nothing could occur while I
was extant.
So half asleep, I eased over
to the open window.
I remained free.

* E-meter - a common lie detector device used in auditiing, a Scientlogy practice for spiritual cleansing.

* homo novus - originally a Roman term. literary translation means "new man." L Ron Hubbard used this term to describe the transformation of Scientologists when they embraced Scientology.

* FLAG - a spiritual headquarters in downtown Clearwater, FL. for the Church of Scientology. church members stay for weeks or months as they take courses and receive auditing. many become Sea Org members during this time.

* engrams - in Scientology, imprints of painful experiences that affect in their day-to-day life until they can be cleared. a Scientologist has reached the state of Clear when he can face these memories with no reaction on the E-meter.

* PTS - potential trouble source. anyone who has become influenced by an SP, suppressive person. more specifically, a PTS is someone who listens to anyone against Scientology and it's ethics.

* Sea Org - a military-like labor force comprised of Scientologists, many who can no longer afford courses. they work 80-100 hours a week for low wages doing various jobs for the church, of which they have no say in choosing. they are also asked to sign a billion year contract of service.

* The Tech - how Scientologists refer to the life skills of the religion.

* thetan - in Scientology, a thetan is simlar to the spirit or soul.

* OT - operating thetan. attained after reaching the state of Clear.