Away

This is a continuation of The Truth Hurts Lying Down, a short story.

....part one of this story is called Run...
....part two of this story is called Far...

The microwave beeped, so Karen put the away message on her AIM profile, and headed to the kitchen. Ramona's bottle was ready. She had been chatting online with her sister, Kat.

Kat was showing stress about the wedding. She kept typing "ugh" and "help me," so to make her laugh, Karen changed her icon from Disney's Tinkerbell, to a bunny with a pancake on his head. It was a funny picture she found on a pet website. She was contemplating a new one since Bruno left.

It worked. Kat sent a stream of yellow smileys, then typed "Thanks sis!" in capital letters.

Bruno ran away a month ago, about the same time Karen was having second thoughts about school. She looked for him, but he never returned. She regretted hitting him with that newspaper, she thought she may have done it too hard, but Jon had just paid for their new carpet. Seeing him destroy it made her snap.

The way he yelped, he sounded so sad. It was a guttural meow, like he was under water.

She didn't want to think about Bruno anymore. She missed him and it was painful. She shifted her focus. On the couch, she held the baby in one arm and with the other, guided a bottle into her mouth, using a forefinger to tickle under her chin. It was a trick she learned months ago.

Jon was helpless at feeding the baby. He was, however, excellent at stopping her tears just by holding her. It was a male dominance thing, something guys can just do with the opposite sex.

Ramona suckled, then stopped and yawned. She stretched out her fat baby arms, like the end of a long work day, and quickly passed out. Karen could hold her for hours, just looking at her while she slept. It was spiritual. This baby was the cherry on top of married life.

That was why she was having doubts about school and wanted to drop out. It was just too much. She planned on telling Jon when he got home that day, but she was nervous.

He hadn't been in the best of moods. He even turned her down for sex. Although to be honest, Karen was only interested that one day with the Forget-Me-Not flowers. It was a sweet gesture, out of the blue like that, and she started taking off his pants, but Jon said he had a migraine. RN's deal with incredible pressure and those medical conferences must have wiped him out.

Karen looked at the baby, fast asleep in her arms, and carried her into the nursery. She placed her in the crib and wound the musical mobile that played "Ba Ba Black Sheep." The soft music filled the room and Karen considered a long nap herself, but she knew she couldn't. She had chores to do. She made her way to the living room to fold laundry.

Folding a bath towel under her chin, she sighed. Telling Jon would be hard. He was so enthused about her independence, saying "I knew you had it in you! All you needed was a push," and she felt guilty. Being a librarian wasn't in her future. If it was, she wouldn't be here. She'd be far away from Moreno Valley and living alone. Karen's life didn't function that way. It never had.

Being a wife and mother was all she ever really wanted.

Jon promised her domestic bliss. It was a struggle. Those first years after high school he was hardly husband-material, going from job to job and spending weekends with the guys. She knew how bad he wanted her, though. His crush on her started in 10th grade and she knew she could change him.

He asked her out when he was working as a waiter, seven years ago. She was looking for a husband and thought he had potential, but soon realized his lack of funds. After two months, things were starting to fizzle and he hadn't even made it to second base yet.

Then they went to the Orange County Fair. They were on the Ferris Wheel and it was stopped, letting everyone take in the nighttime view. Overlooking luxury cars and Republican households, Karen got excited. It turned her on! It was the life she always wanted. She carefully moved Jon's hand under her skirt.

"Oh baby," he had groaned with pleasure. "You don't know how bad I've wanted to touch you." He buried his face in her neck, like a wolf with blood lust, kissing and bringing her to a climax. Karen managed a few words.

Through her heavily red lined lips and powdered face, she said: "I need someone who can take care of me. Can you?"

"Of course baby, anything," he replied.

That was how she got him into the nursing program at RCC. Then like magic, Karen's biggest worry was putting dinner on the table for her husband. Having a man fulfill her every need was the ultimate delectation. Better than sex.

She decided against folding clothes and poured herself a glass of wine. It was early in the day, but it had been a stressful month. With the cat running away, buying the new car, planning her sister's wedding, and Ramona getting over an ear infection, she deserved some release. That case of wine had four bottles left now. She gulped the Chablis, realizing she was depressed. It hit her like lightning.

Sex. This was about sex.

Her marriage seemed strong, but Karen wasn't sleeping with Jon. Not regularly. Did that cause his mood swings? She was turned on by material things: new carpet, Jon's sports car, Ramona's ladybug outfit from Anne Geddes. To her, they were integral to a happy marriage. Without Jon's money, they were nothing but an average couple in the Inland Empire suffering in this awful summer heat.

Did Jon resent her because of their sex life? Were those conferences just to get away from her? He was going to run away like Bruno did, she just knew it. Her heart raced and she drank some more. Something felt terribly wrong. Her life felt phony, especially her attempt at college. She hadn't gone to class in weeks, but Jon didn't know that.

Why couldn't things be just like they were on that Ferris Wheel? When Jon would've do anything for her and she was excited about the future.

Karen read that sunlight cures depression, so she opened the blinds. Bright rays washed over their Italian silk couch. Looking at the reflective surface, she felt a lump in her throat. She laid on the floor and buried her face in the carpet. The musical notes of Ba Ba Black Sheep started her tears.

She cried until snot bubbled from her nose. Then fearing Jon would come home, straightened up and wiped it with her sleeve. An overwhelming feeling of failure washed through her, all the way to her toes. She licked the remaining snot off her upper lip and it tasted like white wine. She wanted another glass, so she gave up on laundry. Beside, her sister was waiting online to finish up their chat.

When Jon got home, she was drunk and surfing YouTube. And even though he wasn't good at it, he ended up folding laundry and feeding the baby dinner.

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train